Following the Wrong Path

Following the Wrong Path

Following the Wrong Path

Originally posted Feb 29 2020

There have been times in the past where I felt I was just going where the money was. What I mean is, I was following jobs that promised me money but it was clearly not what I was called to do. It was in front of me saying ‘hey I have a lot of money to pay you to do this job’.

Has anyone else felt this pull?

This pull to do a job, a task, an opportunity that entices you with money. But the task, job, opportunity itself does not resonate with you. 

I have struggled with this pull all my life. It is obvious when I look back at all the jobs I have had. From a well-paid call center job to an English teaching job where I had to drive so far to make money. I know this idea of pursuing jobs for money has been ingrained in me. As most ideas in our lives become conditioned into our brains from our families even from our ancestors.

Think about how your grandparents grew up and how their parents lived their lives. Those ideas on surviving through the hard times of the past, get passed down from generation to generation energetically, physically and behaviorally. 

Like the famous quote, ‘Show me the money’ from the movie Jerry Maguire, if you don’t enjoy the job that you are asking to ‘show you the money’, you will never be in alignment with your purpose. FYI, Your higher self is not and will NEVER be focused on the money.

We follow that path out of fear. Fear we won’t pay the bills. Fear we won’t be able to be happy with less. We are steered towards the easy way. Where can I work and just make money to feed myself and my family? The necessities of life will be fulfilled with this job. We don’t feel that if we step out of the comfort of a 9 to 5 job that we could survive. If we start our own business or taking the chance and moving to another country to experience the world, we believe we will inevitably fail. Because really, who does that? Society tells you that. The fear is evident whenever you go against the norm.

Nobody wants to feel that pain of failure or loss of failing at a business or coming back home after living abroad.  That feeling of going backward or losing money or flat out not being happy anymore, makes our mind go to that state of failure.

Think about it. Everyone who has started a business has failed. Everyone who has moved abroad eventually moves back home. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t moving forward. The fact that you even tried is something big in and of itself. The idea of failing is inevitably going to happen, but that is how you grow and evolve. 

Some myths that come up in my mind about taking the leap: 

It won’t work for me as it did for them, they were successful. 

I probably won’t do well.

I will lose money.

I won’t have any customers.

Someone is already doing it better, why should I try?

Who wants to work with me?

What happens when our thoughts start to take the negative exit of ‘I am not good enough’?

We start working at jobs where it doesn’t resonate with our beings. We take jobs that give us money only. No peace of mind, no joy, no encouragement to change. We stay in a place where it is comfortable. We don’t think about ourselves but think about providing for our family and lose sight of what is right for us because it is easier.

You tell this safe story: 

No one will judge me if I stay where I am. I won’t have to explain myself if I stay here. I don’t like confrontation so I won’t express my ideas in this meeting. 

We end up shortchanging ourselves just to stay safe and comfortable. 

What would it look like if we showed up in the arena? What if we showed up and told our story? What if we took a chance on ourselves? What if YOUR story is what someone needs to hear right now? What if what you are offering, for example, a yoga retreat, a therapy session or simply taking someone through meditation, is something that someone needs from you? Would you pursue that need? 

I am telling you that what you want to share with the world is needed. The world needs you! Don’t hold back in what truly makes your heart sing. I am telling you from experience.

For years, I have been following the norm of working the 9 to 5 and following the road that promised money at the end, not prosperity just money. Not happiness or joy, just money. There is a difference.

All those jobs and careers I followed because of the money turned out to be a burden. It turned me into an angry person. I noticed how I treated the people around me. I was irritable, annoyed, picked fights with my husband. I was not happy at all levels. 

Choose to be happy.

Choose to follow your path.

Choose to be yourself.

You have the power.

Because you are in the arena, taking the punches and jabs from life and you are daring to shine your light for all to see. Shine your light because when you do that, others will see it and want to shine just as bright as you. 

Our retreats are created with love and light, helping people find their purpose and stick to telling their story and shining their light for all to see. I hope you join us!

Love & Light,

Kate

You Only Live Once

You Only Live Once

You Only Live Once

Originally posted Feb 28 2020

I am realizing that a loved one might not be here much longer. My grandma, Nana, has been a part of my life for my 38 years on earth. I am beyond lucky to have her still with me. She has been my rock through hard times. She has energetically sent bad vibes to people who have wronged me. Most importantly she is my link to my favorite place on earth, Italy.

Nana was born in a small town called Farneta in the region of Emilia Romagna. Born before World War II, she had a hard upbringing. Her idea of Italy is completely different than mine. She grew up in a world where war was in her backyard, famine, and uncertainty. She never experienced the Italy I know and love. I remember her first response when I told her I was going to study abroad in Florence in 2002. 

“Why would you want to go there?”

All I could respond with was “because I want to learn more about my heritage.”

She lit up when I said that.

Since then, my cousin has married an Italian from outside of Verona. My husband came into my life, a man born in my second home, Florence. I have lived in my beloved Firenze for 4.5 years as a legal resident.

Thanks to the path my Nana took from Farneta to London to America. My mother was born in a small town outside of London called Ledbury after my American grandfather swept my Nana off her feet. 

I experienced life outside of my hometown, outside of Nana’s Italy, outside of the norm. I took the leap of faith and let the net appear for me to live my already extraordinary life. 

You only live once, I always say to people. There is no reason to second guess your ideas, your path or even if you change your path for the better. Because we never know when our time is up. I do not want to be one of those people at the end of their life that says “I wish I started that Retreat business in Italy”.

Life is short and it is important to live it to the fullest.

Drink the wine, eat the cake, take that trip, explore that culture, spend the money.

Leap and the net will appear. It always does. I am a prime example of that saying. The net always appeared for me. 

I took the leap in 2005 when I quit my 9-5 job and spent the summer in Florence learning Italian. I took the leap in 2007 when I became a nanny for an Italian family. I took the leap and signed up for a travel writing workshop in Rome with my dear friend Amanda Castleman in 2008. I took the leap when I decided to apply for British citizenship and move my life to Florence in 2009. 

In Florence, I struggled, I worked paycheck to paycheck, I rode my bike everywhere, I knew all the secret side streets of Florence (to this day I can walk them in my head). I ran out of money. I couldn’t pay rent at a certain point. I was robbed. I was heartbroken. I got into bike accidents.

I fell. But I got up again. Every time. I brushed off the dirt from the cobblestones and pressed on. 

I do not regret one experience, one heartbreak, one job, one mean Italian who told me I didn’t speak right, one decision, one credit card purchase. Because they all led me to this point. The point in my life where I feel like a whole person. I lived where I wanted, ate what I wanted and always chose what was right for me. On my terms. 

People still ask me to this day, “why did you leave Italy?”

My boring answer is “the economy”. My actual answer is “I haven’t left yet.” 

A better answer now is, I needed to come home to fully develop my dream of “never leaving Italy”. 

That brings us to the present moment. I am incredibly excited to start this next chapter of my life. Living my dream of showing and teaching people about self-love and self-worth, about a country, and a city that is my real home in my heart. 

You only live once, remember that. Use all the hours, minutes, seconds in your day to live your best life. 

What would you start working on right now to live more fully?

Love & Light,

Kate

Only Love is Real

Only Love is Real

Only Love is Real

This year has changed from being the year I launch my first retreat, to the year I cancel said retreat. The year that expresses there is a reason why this pandemic is here. It is wreaking havoc on people (front-line workers), families and causing the world’s economy to come to a complete stop.

I was sad at first. But then I realized that I needed this year to prepare. Heal myself. Learn more. Grow more. And come into my own. 

Since the world was hit by this pandemic, I’ve tried to surround myself with stories of love, hope and support.

I only watch funny movies. I meditate more often. I create art to get me through the days. I use art to express my emotions, inner child trauma, and limiting beliefs I’ve held in my being for so long.

Needless to say, it’s been a transforming (almost) three months closed inside my home. 

One amazing perk, I’ve grown closer to my husband. Even with our (my) own outbursts, anger spells and crying uncontrollably, he’s been by my side.

The key to marriage is communication. In fact, it has been the basis of our relationship from the very beginning. I remember when I told him the goal I had of our relationship.

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, I said, “You need to tell me when you are not happy with me or something isn’t right in our relationship.”

He replied, with a smile. “Ok.”

It is still the basis of our relationship. Even more now as our (my) emotions are out of control and say to him in a loud, stern voice, “I am angry because our trip to Italy is off. We won’t have a vacation this summer. I am sad that your vacation will be here with me in this house that we’ve been in for the past 3 months together.”

It felt great to get that off my chest. Just expressing your feelings does make a difference in your body. Give it a try sometime. 

Another perk, I’ve reconnected to friends whom I thought I’d never find the connection again. One friend in particular has caught me by surprise. She and I were partners in crime in Florence back from 2008 to 2011.

We painted Florence red each and every night we went out. We lived life to the fullest. We made our own mistakes and learned from them by staying by each other sides during those dark times. We grew and shaped ourselves living in my beloved city.

She taught me how to be kind. She gave me strength when I was struggling emotionally and financially in Florence.

And then, I let her slip through my fingers for many selfish reasons.

Worst mistake of my life.

I didn’t know what I lost until she was gone.

I am grateful that she and I are now back in regular communication as of a few years back. I wrote her a long email to let her know how much I cared for her and how bad I felt when we lost touch.

Last June, I met her for lunch in our beloved Florence. It was like not a day had passed. The lunch flew by. I didn’t even finish my salad.

I just had so much I wanted to tell her. But I got the best gift from her that day: LOVE.

I felt her love. I felt her as if we didn’t have a falling out. I felt how lucky I am to have a friend like her.

She is still living her life in Florence after 10+ years with her amazing husband and two adorable, bilingual children. I am forever grateful that I wrote her that email. 

Your time on this earth is short, make sure you tell people you love them.

Share love and kindness with whoever needs it. A simple smile, with your eyes, a ‘thank you’ to the man sanitizing the carts at the store, a phone call to a friend that is struggling, listening to a friend who needs to vent. These are all examples of love. 

So much tragedy has happened in these months. Feeling bad for myself because I can’t travel, makes me feel so horrible.

All the people who died alone in a lonely hospital bed really makes my heart hurt. I think about them every day. 

The loved ones that only got to see the dying through a facetime call that the amazing healthcare workers offered to do. That is what I call courage, support and LOVE.

There are millions of people all over the world who are without food, struggling to pay their bills, in unhealthy, abusive relationships, scared to be outside because of their health. Not just because of the virus, all these fears are heightened even more. 

The one thing that I keep sending to those in need is LOVE.

Only love is real. 

As much as I wish I was hosting a retreat in Tuscany this summer, I know this pandemic happened for a reason.

Pick yours:

  • Heal the Earth
  • Slow down
  • Focus on what’s important
  • Learn something new
  • Connect with a loved one
  • Heal yourself
  • Love yourself more

The list can go on.

For me, I choose to focus on what I REALLY want to do with my life. I’ve been on the path of self-care and wellness since December 2019. This year is my year to heal, grow and share my story with people that need inspiration, love and support. Because we all need that.

I feel in all of my being, my intention is being heard by the universe. I’ve received the sign.

My heart wants to share so many gifts with the world. It is MY time. 

 

What have you decided to focus on this time at home? Are you looking for a change? Are you missing a long lost friend?

Share with me in the comments what you are feeling these days.

Love & Light,

Kate

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