I’ve been holding myself back for many years. What others said about me or to me has controlled how I chose my next step. It all started in childhood. I never spoke up as much as I thought I did. I held my breath in certain conversations with friends and family. I had people in my life who made me feel guilty, ashamed and scared. I was influenced by fear for many years. Let me clarify that this is not referring to abuse (physical or emotional), it was mostly how people scolded me when I made a mistake. As I grew up, whenever I made a mistake, I feared the reaction of my family and friends.
These feelings led up to me moving abroad and finding my place in this world by being my own person. I didn’t need anyone’s opinion on what I was doing when I decided to move abroad. Yes, I was always feeling the dread and fear from my family because of my decision. But I kept my eye on the prize.
Italy.
Florence.
All alone.
On my own two feet.
Paying rent.
Working long hours.
All on me. Because it was MY decision.
I didn’t pursue what others did in their 20s. I didn’t want to follow ANYONE. I was the follower during my childhood, from the popular cliques to making the best soccer team. I wanted to fit in but also eager to shine my light. My authentic self. It was yearning to be seen.
When I arrived in Florence, no one expected anything from me. I was my own person from the start. I showed my friends who I really was. My authentic self. Perhaps that is why one of my closest friends has always been there for me for 16 years. I knew I could reach out to him while living in Florence.
I showed up in Florence. I showed up and allowed people to see me. I fell in love while in Florence. I let that person see me for me. I didn’t put on a show and try to make him love me. I didn’t try to change who I was for him. He didn’t try to change himself for me either. I accepted him as he was and he accepted me. It was the greatest lesson I’ve learned. I was myself from the first day I met him to the moment he asked me to marry him. He is now my partner in life.
Learn to take a chance on yourself. You have the power to dream big, be seen and shine your light. Be authentically you.
Defined by Brene Brown in her book The Gifts of Imperfection:
“Authenticity is a daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are.”
We were created for a reason. There’s only one YOU. Share your gifts with the world. The world needs you!
“When you avoid conflict to make peace with other people, you start a war within.”
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!
“What we resist, persists.”
Abraham-Hicks
Follow your intuition. It is always right.
Love & Light,
Katie